♥ Sunday, September 23, 2007Chapter #02 * Hopes and DreamsDefinition: Gratifying or beautiful aspirations. (noun) It seems like everybody have their hopes and dreams. Some wanna be the CEO, maybe some wants fame on the stage. Different people have different wishes. Lols it's a bit sad when come to think about myself, i don't seem to have any aspirations. That's probably why i still don't know which course i wanna take next year. Maybe i think too much. Perhaps. I envy people who really try to head to wherever they aspired. Let's say jarrold. (Ha i rmb sitting next to him during geog/ss.) In his sec sch days, he was always seen drawing animes or designing fonts. Sketching, sketching and sketching. Until sometimes mr fong see liao buay song. (LOLS.) Then as everyone has expected, he indeed went to a design course in tp. (My comment: since he has the passion and talent, why not. =D) Even peiting my junior applied to the DPA intake (even though failed to get accepted) in the apparel design and merchandising course in tp. But honestly i admire her effort to pursue her dreams. 佩服。 At least they know what they want for their future. I have like nuts for myself. Even zhili said last time, "I thought you were very keen on going to a design course." Lols and *surprise surprise* my first choice on the JAE wasn't any design course at all. "So why you chose this?" Umm good question. Well, apparently there isn't any sch of design in ngeeann, and i thought this course would be the closest (after i looked at the modules list) to a design course. Ahahs, and i'm wrong. Which is why now i'm scared to decide which course to take next year. Cus even if i go around the polytechnics' websites looking at their course modules, i'm still not convinced about choosing the courses. Because words can lie. (Okie LIE is a word too strong.) I shall rephrase this. Because words can be misleading. They can have a nice chunk of essay, telling you the wonderful job scope of this course, like opportunities to work in raffles city hotel etc and is greatly in demand due to the flourishing tourism. But the fact is you check for water leaks, aircon system, and things like that. Pretty sad, isn't it? Yes, i finally gotta admit that i'm scared. I hate to admit my weaknesses. I don't like to appear weak and pathetic. And i think that's why people (esp younger ones) have told me that i'm a cheerful and optimistic person. (Bwahahahs.) Ironically, i'm the opposite. Somehow apparently, if you've got enough power to see thru me. I am no optimist. Or, i am a fake optimist. HA! (I didn't fake it on purpose you know, it's just the side effect of me trying to appear strong.) Okie well i think i steered way off the topic. Once i asked jarrold, "Is your course competitive?" He said, "Quite. But i'm good. Ha ha." Really -_- sia. Doesn't sound comforting at all. I'm not good. Not good at all. I can't draw, damn. And i know ALL design-relevant courses have to draw, even for digital animation or moving images. Honestly, (i know i keep saying this) if i had a choice, i wouldn't want to continue my studies after sec sch. But obviously singaporeans don't have a choice. No basic diploma, who's gonna hire you? With an O level cert, no matter you've got all A1s or flunked till F9s, one only can work like waitress or cashier that kind. Well, i guess nobody wants such job positions forever. The reason is simple. How am i gonna support my kids next time? Where are they gonna live, roadside? How am i going to feed my children, white bread for every meal? I don't think i'm materialistic. I don't expect living in condos, driving big car, becoming a successful career woman and stuffs like that. All i want is just a stable income to support the family. (Hahs i'm guessing i think too far, and too family-minded. All i care and want for my future is a nice family with good husband and children? Lols sia.) And no, i won't become a yellow-faced-aunty (aka 黄脸婆). Cus i think the wife should help her man generate income as well. It's fair i find, or else simply let the guy alone stress over the bills and household expenses meh? Financially very strain de wor. I daresay that i am one whom have kinda low expectations in life. I'd like repeat this over and over again. Cus people around me have told me that they're tempted to change/switch/quit. 01) Don't change just because of influence. (Influence as in, you see somebody quit, then you also feel like quiting too.) 02) Don't change just because of people you dislike. (It won't do you any good, you see.) Failure to abide by these two rules-of-thumb above, might result in regretting what you've done (change/switch/quit). And that will be too late le. Lols scary huh? I used bigger and bigger font size to emphasize the important points. (Got too carried away.) Bwahahahs. Quite thankful. Mmm i also don't know what to say. "Friends will always be friends what. Not in np cannot be friend meh." Hey. I am touched. No kidding. ='( Very touched lo. Hahs really glad you people think this way. I'm still extra, somehow. It's a fact. HAHSigHAHS. Guessed i know why already, i am in no mood to go look for job yet. Weird enough. (I rmb i used to be very determined to get a job after Os before xmas'06, and ahahs i did get a job.) Cus i haven't decided where to go next year, so i didn't feel like moving on. Time obviously won't wait for me, but hey it's a kind of mentality, you see. Not panicking or what. Cus the jobs i'm interested in, they're those that most people will not be interested. I gotta admit i've got a weird taste, i don't go for the norm. (So am i an abnorm? Is it something to be happy or sad about, oh dear.) When i was younger, i told myself after Os that, i'd like to try working in a cafe OR in a post office sorting out the letters according to interestingly-different addresses. I've kinda fulfilled the first one. So, heh heh heh. Maybe i shall fulfil the second one this time round, since i can work full time. Maybe maybe. I don't have big dreams. But i do have those little whimsy dreams. I guess that's enough to overwhelm me for the time being. I'm actually easily satisfied (though i may seem picky). Got deardear enough le. Damn, sorry i know i'm very emotionally dependent on you. But i've improved throughout these months. Not too sure if you've realised. But i did realised one thing. =DD Woah near 6am le. Officially nocturnal. Think i'm gonna wake at 5pm. I typed for a freaking long period. =_=" Well good nite. And i love you. 4:04 am
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我爱沈先生，since 15JAN07。 • KIM- • 05july1990 • twenty • bedok north secondary • nanyang academy of fine arts • muscle defect (dimple) Disenchanted Words • The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. • Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences. Long Long Ago• April 2007• May 2007 • June 2007 • July 2007 • August 2007 • September 2007 • October 2007 • November 2007 • December 2007 • January 2008 • February 2008 • March 2008 • April 2008 • May 2008 • June 2008 • July 2008 • August 2008 • September 2008 • October 2008 • November 2008 • December 2008 • January 2009 • February 2009 • March 2009 • April 2009 • May 2009 • June 2009 • July 2009 • August 2009 • September 2009 • October 2009 • November 2009 • December 2009 • May 2010 • June 2010 • July 2010 • September 2010 • December 2010 • May 2011 • June 2011 • July 2011 • August 2011 • December 2011 • January 2012 • February 2012 CrossroadAll links below open in a new window/tab.Jukeboxsilverbluez @ hotmail.com Copyright © 2008-2010. All rights reserved. Best viewed in Internet Explorer 7 and screen resolution of 1280 by 720, although Mozilla Firefox 3 will also do (with extremely small font size for headings). |